I began my mindful parenting journey two and half years ago.
I had a 3.5 year old, a 1.5 year old and a new born baby.
I wasn’t sleeping well, I wasn’t taking care of myself. Day to day life was hard and I was really struggling.
I remember lying in bed one morning, after a night of broken sleep (thanks newborn feeding schedule) and I heard my husband yelling at the kids again. I thought to myself ‘here we go, another day of yelling, another day of feeling like shit, another day with upset kids’. Something had to change.
I had been listening to the Mindful Mama Mentor podcast (hosted by Hunter Clarke-Fields, creator of the Mindful Parenting Course) for a few months and really liked her philosophy, and the way she approached parenting from a place of calm and respect for children, rather than a place authority and power.
As soon as enrolments opened, I jumped at the opportunity to enrol in Hunter’s Mindful Parenting Course (the same course that I now am certified to teach). Surely, she would teach me ways to stop yelling and start enjoying my new life!
The premise of mindful parenting is that first we look after ourselves, then we learn skills to communicate effectively with our children.
Within the first week I had started a mindfulness practice.
I have to admit, I was a bit skeptical. I'd dabbled in meditation and mindfulness in the past, but never taken it too seriously.
I initially started out with only three minutes of meditation a day, that was it, three minutes. I remember thinking during my first go, 'uggh, how much longer to go...' and it was a real struggle to not look at my watch. But you know what? I did it without sneaking a glance. I got through that first meditation and the next, and the next. And by the end of the first week, I was actually looking forward to my nightly meditation, and even pushed the time out to five minutes!
However, once I decided to commit to a regular mindfulness practice, I saw the benefits almost straight away, it was actually insane!
I felt calmer within myself, and as a result, was able to be calmer with my kids.
This in essence is what changed things for me!
After completing the full program, I noticed so many changes in myself and my family:
Life is now easier, quieter and calmer.
I am now more aware of my myself and my triggers. I can actually talk about my emotions.
I am better able to meet the needs of my kids because I have learnt how to better meet my own needs.
I am able to pause before reacting to a difficult situation, and consider it from all angles before reacting.
I have learnt ways to communicate with my kids so they I can better understand where they are coming from, and so that they can better understand me.
I feel more confident in my ability to raise calm, confident, empathetic, kind and compassionate children.
Was I enjoying my new life? Heck Yeah!
I felt so much more in control, I felt that now I had tools to handle situations thrown at me by my crazy and rambunctious little humans!
It was most surely a life changing experience, and I am so grateful to have taken the plunge, committed the time (and money) to ensure a happier, calmer and more peaceful future for my family.
After practising Mindful Parenting for a year or so I was then given the opportunity to become a Mindful Parenting Certified Teacher! Honestly, this was such an exciting step for me! Prior to this I think all my friends and family had had enough of hearing me rave on and on (and on and on) about how amazing mindful parenting is and how it has made such a difference in my life! Now I was going to learn how to teach all this amazing stuff to people who actually wanted to listen to me rave on and on (and on and on).
I spent four months training with Hunter and the most amazing group of teacher trainers from around the world. Each week for four months I set my alarm for 11pm on a Wednesday night, woke up, joined a zoom meeting in my jarmies, and then, full of knowledge, excitement and anticipation, jumped back into bed for a few more hours sleep before the day began. It was full on! It was tiring! But you know what? It was simply the most amazing thing ever! Even thinking about it brings back so many feelings of joy, pride and accomplishment!
So that brings me to here, to now.
I still practice mindfulness (almost) every day. I communicate so much better with my children. I am now faced with a five-year-old, plus a three-year-old AND a two-year-old (who said terrible twos were worse than the threenager stage??) These kids challenge me every single day. Do I get it right every single day? No, I don’t. Am I a perfect parent? No, I am not!
However, when I ‘make mistakes’, I am now able to learn from them… I show myself compassion – which was never there before. I think about what happened so that I can make more mindful choices in the future. I encompass the idea of ‘good enough parent’ and take that with me every
day (more on ‘good enough parenting’ in another blog!)
I am so grateful that mindful parenting came into my life – what a game changer!!
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